Trying to figure things out.

Posted Apr 10, 2007
Last Updated Apr 10, 2007
Going through life, experiencing for yourself what is needed to learn what you must.

I don't know but I think I need to change but it is so hard to get myself started on anything! How can I get things started when I cant concentrate on something for a long period of time. I change thoughts so often I cant remember half the things I was just thinking about. Only thing I have been able to focus on is music but that isn't going to get me anywhere in life.

Even on things I have focused on I have lost interest after about 3 months. I think I have even lost focus on reading the bible. I find myself reading the bible everyday but I cant seem to remember anything I read anymore. I just don't understand what my problem is! I feel myself doing horrible praying. (I think my brain only works half the time) I know I should spend more time reading and praying but this just isn't right!

How am I going to get closer to God if I cant focus? I am to be zealous but I am not. What am I? Pathetic! Why does my mind wonder so much? I mean it isn't like I go out and do a lot of bad things. I don't know but I need to hurry and find a way out or my life may be in danger? I find myself doing stuff that isn't important but I also think why are other things so important? What is important? Why is it Important? Why is it someone else has decided what is important?

How come I can think something is so important and not do it? I mean I thought it was important but how could it be if I cant focus on it or I am not always wanting to do it? So I say to myself what is important? I thought it was but why? Am I fooling myself?

I guess it will just take time to figure it out! :D

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