I don't know but Man I seem to slip in thought every time I am thinking about God! Which isn't very good cause I do appreciate spending the time trying to learn and get closer to God. My mind always wonder to the subject of GIRLS! Not necessarily a bad thing but shouldn't be on God's time.

I mean it keeps popping up as I wonder if I will ever get married. Maybe God has a different plan for me. (which I don't know if I would want but I would have to take) I mean Women are awesome. You help me to calm my nerves and they are willing to almost always talk with you. I think I am going to need that one day considering I am very needy person of people. They also help stray my little mind back to God. I mean they help and don't even know what they did I would think.

I just think I would enjoy the comforts of a women more then being alone my whole life! I just decided to post this cause it has been on my mind and I am getting it out. I mean "what if" I am that person God thinks doesn't need a women? I don't know what I would do. Matter of fact what if the women think I am not the person? I mean I know I am not really ready to get married anytime within the next few years but after I am sure I will be good. Also one of my problems I think is that I am fat! Oh how I hate it!

I have been fat since well I did lose it at one point but for about 10 years I would think. Well minus one year in there. The thing with that I find it hard to consistently focus on losing it by myself. I have done it before but that was with the only thing I enjoy doing alone that was exercise. (Basketball) That lasted one year till some guy pulled out a gun on the court and they took down the hoops after. (which let me tell you didn't help my losing process) But I think that will change again cause they decided that they are putting them back up this year. YAY maybe I will lose most of it again:) Actually I have lost 20 pounds in the past few weeks and I cant tell a thing.