Things to Change.
What is it you want in life? Me I kind of know but why then do I not do it. I mean I kind of want to get married but then maybe I dont. I want to do right by God but I dont sometimes. I want to be nice to everyone and find myself being mean to people on occasion.
I would love to find someone and settledown with them.. The only thing is the way this culture is anymore it makes it crazy to raise a family. Society telling you how you can and can not raise your kid. Plus you have to support your wife and kids.. For me that may be a problem since I decided not to go to college but that was my fault. So if you dont get married what should I spend my time on to keep my mind off these things? I guess God.
Thing is even now I dont spend my time on God when I have all the time I want. I mean one minute I want to and the next I dont. Maybe I should just focus on it a while and nothing else until it becomes habit.. I am suppose to be good to everyone.
Helping people out and things is always something I thought I have done. Yet I find myself at the moment living off of someone else and not moving out yet. I mean that puts pressure on them and I shouldnt do that. When someone ask me to do things I blow it off sometimes. What kind of person would do all these things.
Seems like I do everything I never wanted to do.. What I think and do are two different things. I know what I should do and yet I still dont. I find myself satisfying myself over other people. Almost not worthy of having friends or family..
I only wrote this to remind myself later to always work on changing what I have wrong... To see if I started to change anything or not within a year..